GOD MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

This past Sunday as I was going through the normal ritual of frantically rushing the kids out the door to church, I immediately stopped and thought, "Hmmmm...did I grab the hand sanitizer?" Well you know with all the greet and meet hand shaking and Ebola and stuff...I just wanted to be prepared.  While I am driving to church, I am giving my children a germ and illness prevention speech.  One that my kids hate, and I usually receive an eye-rolling in the back of the head epileptic fit before I ever get the last word out..."No putting fingers in eyes, ears, nose, or mouth! As these are all gateways to infections and disease!!!! Use the hand sanitizer after someone shakes your hand.  Don't eat the donuts, someone probably used bare hands to place on platter, and you don't know if they sneezed in that hand.  Don't hold the bathroom door handles without a paper towel or the sleeve of your shirt, don't turn off water faucets with bare hands, use paper towel, and for goodness sake NEVER use hand to flush toilet, use your foot!"  I know...maybe I've gone a little overboard, but after raising six children, and countless emergency room trips over the course of 29 years, and treating ungodly amounts of vomit spewed through my carpet...as a child can never manage to ever make it to a bathroom to do that!  After nearly 60,000 in medical fees, and strains of the flu never heard of...YES, I AM CAUTIOUS!  NOT PARANOID!  JUST CAUTIOUS!  If I can prevent sickness I will at ALL cost!  Anyhow, back to the Sunday scene.  I remind the children once more as we exit the vehicle to enter church.  I run up to door to open it so they don't have to touch anything.  I quickly use my sanitizer to clean hands.  I make my way across the sanctuary to sit with not one hand shake no need to sanitize... "Whew, I'm safe".  As we prepare for communion a thought popped in my head, "I wonder who placed the bread on the plate, did they use gloves, and shouldn't there be separate pieces instead of everyone handling it and ripping a piece off?"  I hesitated to take communion..really!  I told myself, "This is crazy! Trust that everything is going to be okay and no one in the congregation is suffering from Ebola, Entrovirus, Flu, Strep Throat, Hep A, Hep B, Stomach Bug....etc...  Well, as I bravely approach the table to gather my communion of bread and wine, I courageously eat my bread, and then before I realize it downed the washed-back remains of SOMEONE ELSE'S CUP by mistake!!!!!!  UGHHHHHHHH!  I immediately ran to bathroom and ceremoniously began washing my mouth out, and wiping tongue off with a paper towel as if I had ingested antifreeze!  A church lady came in the bathroom and witnessed my shear panic of it all, and asked what happened.  I hoped to have found some comfort from her as I explained in a gasp, "I accidentally drank from another's cup at the communion table"...sniff...sniff.  She replies, "OOH GROSS!" and steps out of the bathroom quickly, as if I had already contracted a deadly infection.  Here it is four days later and I am still alive.  I didn't contract some awful infection, the only thing I caught was an explosive room of laughter when I told my kids as my teen stated, "Oh wow mom, fail".  She thought it was so humorous she text her entire classroom at school. I am just waiting for her to post some YouTube video of this incident where I will be viral in the virtual world of most paranoid moms!