Therapeutic Pain

Therapeutic Pain

- Brenda Graff

"Oh Lord", I said...as I sat up in the bed.  Wondering if I was going to be able to do much today.  I pulled a muscle in left shoulder, you know the kind...that hurts when you breathe. I was already worn out from the week and knew I had much to do yet still.  I spent much time during the past several days standing in long lines...

 

sitting at traffic lights for extended periods of time in the heat with a/c blowing just barely above the whisper of a fly, and waiting on paperwork to be processed.  It was honestly exhausting.  Physically and mentally.  I had several test I had to take and was overwhelmed with trying to remember all the answers.   I just wanted to be done with all I had to do to start a job.

Patience has not always been a virtue for me.  I am a got to get ‘er done now type of girl.  I can’t stand procrastination.  It’s always been in my nature to progress.  Stagnant just isn’t my style.  This is not always a good quality...I’ve found out.  This is due to the fact that I often expect others to follow suit, and this can lead to impatience. I put expectations on others that may not feel as I do on productivity or move at a slower pace.  I think this is due to the fact that I know life is fleeting, you don’t get back the seconds you’ve spent.  Time doesn’t stand still.  There are no time machines to go back and fix your fumbles.  You don't get a few extra make up moments at the end of the day.  Time is spent.  I have this constant "tic-tock" echo going off in my brain when I am in a holding pattern no matter where or what it is.  I begin to feel the wrinkles forming on my forehead as my countenance becomes tense with impatience.  

Then I have to remind myself to breathe, slow the pulse, and relax. 

Something happened when I turned fifty.  Suddenly, I realized I had lived half or possibly more than half of my life. I realized how much time I had wasted on worry, really awful relationships, expending myself on futile causes, etc.  I just knew I didn’t want to be forced to waste any more time. 

However, this day I wanted to crawl back under the covers where it was safe, where I could hide from today's duties.  Where I didn't have to feel my own impatience.  I wanted to stay there until I got my "Yes" The yes from God on all my concerns...Yes, today is the day I will be pain free, Yes, today my son will be excited about school work, and follow through without grumbling.  Yes, someone will pitch in and take care of a few chores...so I can heal up quicker.  Yes, all my adult children will be functioning happily and receive the desires of their heart, and ALL at the same time.  Yes, we will be able to pay off all debts, and be free of financial worries.  Yes, my house will function in total peace the entire weekend every hour that goes by.  Yes, winter will blow in and blast this horrible heat wave out of here. Yes, my phone will ring with good news instead another issue.  I just s-o-o-o-o-o wanted my yes. 

What do you do when you feel like you have been waiting for 40 years to reach the promise land?   

Waiting is not my virtue.  However, I know it is necessary.  It is in the waiting that you discover a journey into a sometimes very necessary crucifying of your soul.  It is through the waiting you find that some things are not priority, and others are.  It is when you wait, you start counting your very own heart beat to hear it continuously flowing blood throughout your body, giving you life, a life that even in the waiting is still in existence.  Waiting brings challenges of self-control, both in word and deed.  Sometimes we become so impatient we snatch back the very issue we turned over to God, believing He isn't handling it quickly enough or as we thought it should be.  I know this too well.  I am learning to wait in long lines without too much grumbling.... keeping pulse steady.  I've learned to breathe slow deep breaths while stuck in crawling traffic.  If I could just master the art of one of our cats, Holly, who has to walk a full circle at least twice.... before going out the door she has been howling at to be let out for nearly ten minutes...I might be okay.    

To wait.  What does it mean?  In the Hebrew dictionary it means to:

yachal yaw-chal' -to wait; to be patient, hope: --(cause to, have, make to) hope, be pained, stay, tarry, trust, wait.

And there it is folks!  (be pained) ...Seriously?  I know it means to trust, tarry, etc... but PAINED?  I’ve been pregnant 50 months of my life, labored at least 119 hours, and birthed six children.  You would think after 32 years of raising children and 50 years of living I would have learned to wait by now.  No one ever said, it was going to hurt to wait...our Sunday school teachers never taught that lesson.

Why didn't I at least get the part about Noah and his family stuck in a boat for more then a year with smelly animals and no way to escape the daily mundane or grab a big mac? 

Talk about patience! 

Read the Greek definition of patience:

therapeuo ther-ap-yoo'-o: to wait upon menially, i.e. (figuratively) to adore (God), or (specially) to relieve (of disease): --cure, heal, worship.

Wow!  What a difference.  To wait patiently on God...therapeutically it brings healing, a cure, worship, relief from disease... Dis-ease!

 “Patience is a conquering virtue.” -Geoffrey Chaucer

I realize that God may never heal certain areas of my chronic pain, or I may have to patiently function in the dysfunction of this life.  I know that in all of it, I must wait...I have to wait...I can wait while I worship.  I can continue, you can continue even if at a crawling speed through difficult circumstances.  God's timing is so far beyond what we expect or imagine at times.  He is so far ahead of us...if we could just get a glimpse of His design for our lives, we would spend more time enjoying it, then rushing through it to get from point A to B. 

Be patient = Be kind

Be impatient = further behind. -B.G.

Choose to be patient today! Therapeutically speaking, it can’t hurt.

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

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