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Donkey's and Spaghetti?

The other day I was struggling with getting one of the children to promptly rise and take out the trash.  Apart, I can usually get one to respond fairly quickly.  However, put these two together and suddenly neither has the desire to get up and go and take care of the task.  Because there is someone else in the room that can possibly handle it, it becomes a competition to see who gets to bow out of the responsibility first.  This is an aggravating scene for me.  All I want is for whatever it is...done!  

I wonder how often God is saying, “Would somebody?”  Somebody go!  Somebody speak!  Somebody pray!  Somebody, please get up!  

Jonah had refused to go and warn the people of Nineveh, he refused to do what God had instructed him to do.

   Jonah 1:1-6

The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: ² “Get up! Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because their wickedness has confronted Me.” ³ However, Jonah got up to flee to Tarshish from the Lord’s presence. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. He paid the fare and went down into it to go with them to Tarshish, from the Lord’s presence. ⁴ Then the Lord hurled a violent wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose on the sea that the ship threatened to break apart. ⁵ The sailors were afraid, and each cried out to his god. They threw the ship’s cargo into the sea to lighten the load. Meanwhile, Jonah  had gone down to the lowest part of the vessel and had stretched out and fallen into a deep sleep.

Verse four reminds me of those times when all chaos is breaking out in the midst of our loving abode and I have sent one of the children to take care of a task and later find them sprawled out on my bed watching a television instead of doing as instructed.  They know Mom’s memory span is about as long as a fly’s life span these days and therefore, believe I will forget about it.  Yet, Mom doesn’t forget, she loses it!  Much like the stormy sea Jonah and friends experienced.  Thank the Lord; I am not their final judge!  I don’t like repeating myself!  I expect my children to do what I ask the first time.  It amazes me when my youngest says to me, “Why are you yelling?”  “Hmmmm...Could it be that this is the tenth time today I have had to ask you to pick up your socks?”  I figure there must be a language barrier or perhaps a hearing problem.  This child picks up the socks and then stashes anywhere but where they don't belong...errr.

"No comprende"

I always threaten to take the kids to the doctor so their ears can be irrigated.  Back to Jonah.

⁶ The captain approached him and said, “What are you doing sound asleep? Get up! Call to your god. Maybe this god will consider us, and we won’t perish.”

Can you imagine telling the Almighty, NO?  Much like a two year old in the middle of a grocery aisle, who has been told to get up, act like their legs are made of spaghetti and wiggle their way to the ground stubbornly kicking, and screaming as they refuse to obey.  

"I won't go I say, I won't!"

Jonah wasn't the only one with spaghetti legs.  Let’s take a look at Jeremiah for a moment.  He was afraid, hesitant to do as God instructed, yet God warns him that he better do as he is told or else!

Jeremiah 1:4-10, 17-19 

I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. ⁴ The word of the Lord came to me: ⁵ I chose you before I formed you in the womb; ⁶ But I protested, “Oh no, Lord, God! Look, I don’t know how to speak since I am only a youth.”

Jeremiah felt that he was incapable of doing the task at hand.

⁷ Then the Lord said to me: Do not say, “I am only a youth,” for you will go to everyone I send you to and speak whatever I tell you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of anyone, for I will be with you to deliver you.  This is the Lord’s declaration. ⁹ Then the Lord reached out His hand, touched my mouth, and told me: I have now filled your mouth with My words.  ¹⁰ See, I have appointed you today over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and demolish, to build and plant.

He had a huge responsibility to face.  However, he had the GREAT AND MIGHTY JEHOVAH to answer to!

¹⁷ “Now, get ready. Stand up and tell them everything that I command you. Do not be intimidated by them or I will cause you to cower before them. ¹⁸ Today, I am the One who has made you a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the population. ¹⁹ They will fight against you but never prevail over you, since I am with you to rescue you.”  This is the Lord’s declaration.

Another well known called to serve:  Gideon

Judges 6:11-16 ¹¹ The Angel of the Lord came, and He sat under the oak that was in Ophrah, which belonged to Joash, the Abiezrite. His son Gideon was threshing wheat in the wine vat in order to hide it from the Midianites. ¹² Then the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and said: “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

Gideon was not in any way, shape, or form living in the likeness of a mighty warrior.  He was a farmer and a fearful one at that, working and hiding out in the darkness.  Yet, God saw the mighty warrior within him.  He saw his potential.  He saw Gideon still working even in his weakness, in his fear, and in the dark parts of his life.  God saw the strength that would arise in him as he learned to trust in his heavenly Father.  

He saw Gideon’s tenacity and willingness to work even if it meant suffering to get the job done.  Gideon threshed wheat in the winepress, which was done with great difficulty.  This wasn’t the normal process for threshing.  It was usually done on a hilltop in the open so the breeze could blow away the chaff.  However, because of his fear of the Midianites, he worked hard in the gloomy room of the winepress despite the consuming time to produce.  This is like trying to use a stubborn donkey to plow a football field size of crop, rather then use a modern John Deere farm tractor with a chisel plow.  

"I'm not budging!" 

Gideon’s plight to stay in hiding cost him much time, isolation, and hard labor.

¹³ Gideon said to Him, “Please Sir, if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened? And where are all His wonders that our fathers told us about? They said, ‘Hasn’t the Lord brought us out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and handed us over to Midian.” ¹⁴ The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and deliver Israel from the power of Midian. Am I not sending you?”

Do you see that?  God is saying, it is “I” the great “I AM” sending you!  How can anyone refute the great “I AM?”  It is “I” that has the power, strength, and purpose for which you are to GET UP AND GO!  

Yet Gideon responds in disbelief with:

¹⁵ He said to Him, “Please, Lord, how can I deliver Israel? Look, my family is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father’s house.” ¹⁶ “But I will be with you,” the Lord said to him. “You will strike Midian down as if it were one man.”

The key sentence:  “I will be with you!” says the Lord…”THE GREAT I AM!” Gideon knew he was too weak to do this in his own strength, and was so untrusting of God at the time, that he had to ask for a sign from Him three times.

Judges 6:39 Gideon then said to God, “Don’t be angry with me; let me speak one more time. Please allow me to make one more test with the fleece. Let it remain dry, and the dew be all over the ground

How many times do you think God has asked you to complete a task and yet you fell asleep on the job, hid in the darkness, or grew spaghetti legs?

Oh, how this must frustrate our heavenly Father.  I believe he feels sorrow when we don’t realize our potential in him.  There are circumstances that could be changed more expediently if we would just get up and go!  If we would trust the God who sees the big picture, then we wouldn’t be so caught up at our present situations.  We allow relationships, work, past mistakes, pride, but mostly fear to keep us from taking the road less traveled.  God is calling you to a greater purpose. 

Romans 9:19-27 

You will say to me, therefore, “Why then does He still find fault? For who can resist His will?” ²⁰ But who are you, a mere man, to talk back to God?

Whew!  No back talk to God!

Will what is formed say to the one who formed it, “Why did you make me like this?” ²¹ Or has the potter no right over the clay, to make from the same lump one piece of pottery for honor and another for dishonor? ²² And what if God, desiring to display His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience objects of wrath ready for destruction? ²³ And what if He did this to make known the riches of His glory on objects of mercy that He prepared beforehand for glory— ²⁴ on us, the ones He also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? ²⁵ As He also says in Hosea:  I will call Not My People, My People, and she who is Unloved, Beloved. ²⁶ And it will be in the place where they were told, you are not My people, there they will be called sons of the living God.

Who are we to say that we are incapable of fulfilling God’s purpose?  The ONE, who created us before we were conceived in our mother’s womb, is the same God who has equipped us to carry out the plan he has for us.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, ¹⁷ so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

And there it is!  He has provided the ultimate handbook for life!  It contains every bit of instruction to equip us and serve in his purpose.  And what does that calling look like?

Mark 16:15 Then He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation.

This doesn’t mean that everyone is called to travel overseas to preach the gospel.  There are so many different avenues of spreading the gospel, whether it be in your very on backyard, across town, or over the waves of the Internet.  He just says, GO!  God tells us to be attentive to our calling.  He asked us to be certain of the area we are called to serve.  God also states, that we are to make every possible effort to learn of His ways.  We are to gain faith through goodness with knowledge, which is where we grow up and GO in faith, in His strength, in His purpose.

2 Peter 1:5-10 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, ⁶ knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, ⁷ godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. ⁸ For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹ The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins. ¹⁰ Therefore, brothers, make every effort to confirm your calling and election, because if you do these things you will never stumble.

Jehovah asks us to present ourselves before Him as a living sacrifice to be used by Him.

Romans 12:1-21 Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. ² Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Every time I hear this verse, I am reminded of my former days in a certain legalistic religion that focused mainly on the outer appearance as a standard for living life sacrificially for God.  

However, I've learned that if we are renewing our mind through His word, then our inner will grow into the desires of what is pleasing to God on the outside.  We begin to think twice before wearing clothing that exposes a part of ourselves that would bring attention or cause someone to lust or perhaps commit adultery. 

Our inner parts of Godliness would begin to ooze on the outside.  We begin to watch what we say, keeping our conversations clean.  Our choices would be based on the knowledge of what is pleasing to God as we grow in His word conforming to Christ ways instead of this world.  We all have a role to play.

Ephesians 1:11 We have also received an inheritance in Him, predestined according to the purpose of the One who works out everything in agreement with the decision of His will,

Yet, we all have different roles and stages to play in this great-orchestrated master plan.

Many Gifts but One Body

³ For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one. ⁴ Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, ⁵ in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. ⁶ According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: If prophecy, use it according to the standard of one’s faith;⁷ if service, in service; if teaching, in teaching; ⁸ if exhorting, in exhortation; giving, with generosity; leading, with diligence; showing mercy, with cheerfulness.

Whatever God has called you to do, DO!  I can hear the question already in many minds.  How do you know what God has called you to do?  Where am I supposed to serve?  First, as mentioned earlier, God says to gain knowledge.  It is through that knowledge that you gain faith to move.  It gives you the desire to want to get up and GO!  Second, His will is made known to those that are seeking Him.  If you are truly seeking Him, He promises to give you an answer.

Matthew 7:7 “Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

He doesn’t say that he might open the door to you.  He says, IT WILL be opened!  Our God is not a God of maybe’s…what he says, He’ll do if it is according to HIS plan…and HE does!

Numbers 23:19 ¹⁹ God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind. Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?

What I have discovered over the years is that if there is something that screams volumes in your spirit, wakes you often in the middle of the night, disrupts your plans, and is on your mind morning, noon, and night.  Then chances are it is an area God has chosen you to work in for His glory.  Look closely at the gifts God has given you.  If you desire to be a singer, and you consistently sound like a werewolf in heat, that ain’t it!   Yet, if it is a calling, much like Gideon an uncertain area due to fear, but you feel passionate about then gain knowledge, instruction, and move forward.  

Gideon lacked the knowledge of the power of God since He was originally raised in worshiping a Baal god.  He had to learn. 

Sometimes we become paralyzed to move forward because we are waiting on a sign.  We could rot in our old age before realizing that we missed the road and fell into the ditch eternally missing out on what greatness God had planned for us.  We can spend a life in much regret as Robert Frost points out in his infamous poem:

The Road Not TakenTwo roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Must we waste our days waiting on a sign?

Matthew 12:39 But He answered them, “An evil and adulterous generation demands a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.

God is pleading, “SOMEBODY?”  Are you the SOMEBODY in the room filled with complacent bodies?  Has God called you to take up a cross that others refuse to bear?  Is He shouting SOMEBODY, please take out the trash?  Is he calling you to speak boldly, taking a stand against some of societies immoralities?  

Seek him with all your heart, mind, and soul.  Read and listen to His word.  Gain the knowledge that is revealed to you through His Holy Spirit, and then walk confidently in the footprints of His character, knowing He has already provided the John Deere to do the job more efficiently then you or I could ever on our own.  

Jesus Christ, full of power and strength is more then able to work through and in your weakness!  So next time your sitting in the still of the night and you hear the call, “SOMEBODY, arise and say, “Yes, Lord…here I am. I’m willing to go.

He isn’t asking for the strongest, smartest, tallest, boldest, richest, healthiest, sinless, fastest…He is asking for SOMEBODY to please take the initiative and go!

Strong’s Greek Lexicon meaning (Somebody):  tis tis: some or any person or object

Are we going to refuse God’s calling in our life?

There are several definitions of the word refuse, but the one most interesting to me was the one I found in the Strong’s Greek Lexicon

skubalon skoo'-bal-on -what is thrown to the dogs, i.e. dung.

This definition spoke volumes to me.  “Thrown to the dogs?”  “Dung?” Again, Whew!  Is our calling, scraps to be thrown to the dogs?  Is that how little worth we believe God’s purpose is?  Dung?  I certainly, hope not.

Don’t allow your insecurities, thoughts of inability, or fear keep you from being that SOMEBODY to take the lead.  If God can use a donkey to complete his plans…what makes you think...He can’t use you?  (Numbers 22:21-39) 

Be that SOMEBODY when nobody is stepping up to the plate.  Trade your spaghetti legs in for fearless feet.  

The feet that God created to walk for miles in His shoes.

Listen to "Where You Go" video below:

Brenda A. Graff
Founder
FOOD FOR SOUL MAGAZINE

HE SO LOVED...

One of the first verses I had ever learned in the Bible was: 

John 3:16  - For God loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

This verse has been repeatedly used for decades on teaching salvation and the concept of God's love.  Yet with the history of this verse so widely spread, we still manage to misunderstand or not get at all the concept of God’s love.  

I know I am still learning how much God loves me.  Yet, what is there to learn?  He simply loved us SO!  As I was speaking with my husband, one night, he asked me why God would have to send His son to die on the cross and suffer for our sins.  Why did He create man if He knew we were going to mess up?  And why was there so much suffering?  

Whew!  I knew that I better get the answers right if I were to answer at all.  It was a true test of not only head knowledge of scripture, but most importantly, what was the truth of the matter according to God?  I simply responded first with, “You know, God was regretful for creating mankind".

Genesis 6:6The Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.

It reminds me of how there are parents that grieve over the wickedness of a child birthed, despite being raised in a loving home.  Parents question, "Where did I go wrong? How could this have happened?"  We love our child (SO) much we would go to the moon and back for them.  If there were a way to solve the issue, we would do whatever it would take.  Even, if it meant laying down our lives for them.  Yet, the question still stands…If God knew we were going to be so sinful then why did He create us?  

I have to picture this answer  in light of the fact that we are created in his image according to:

Genesis 1:26–27 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female.

I believe this image also includes his character traits, i.e. emotions.  When couples set out to have a child they sometimes recognize their child may act up in some fashion someday, at least those living in the reality of our imperfect world...do.  

Of course, there are those that truly believe they will raise the epitome of perfection, which sorry to disappoint you, but not in this lifetime...not ever...perfection can never be reached until we are no longer living in our imperfect state on earth. 

This knowledge of our child possibly going wayward doesn’t keep us from conception.  We look forward to the glory and experience of birth, stepping stones, building blocks, and hearing those precious words, “Momma or Da Da” for the first time.  We wonder will he or she be like me? Will they be a doctor someday?  Will they find the cure for cancer?  

The risk of raising a child far out-weigh the knowledge that they could futuristically fall.  

The desire to love and be loved is stronger than the fear of rejection and will prompt some to desperately try to conceive. 

If everyone refused to procreate on the simple fact that mankind is messed up, then our world would be nothing but an empty, lifeless, uneventful, lonely, dark place.  

We wouldn’t have the Mozarts, Benjamin Franklins, Abraham Lincolns, Apostle Pauls, King Davids, Gideons, Ruths, Abigails, or Sarahs.  Our world would have never experienced the tears and triumphs or expression of God’s love without the act of sin.  

How could He prove His love or send His Son to lay down His life for us, if there was no reason to sacrifice?  God simply allowed the free will of man, which became sin so He could demonstrate the utmost act of love.

John 15:13 No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.

His plans allowed for a rebellious nature to occur, simply on the basis that He has given free will.  Would you as a parent, want your child to be forced to say, “I love you”, knowing they can’t stand the very sight of you?  Would you want to be married to someone who demanded your love and respect? 

No!  Not in the least…therefore, God doesn’t force us to love Him.  Yet, He loves us (SO) much that He desires for us to be with Him always.  This is where the eternity speaks volumes compared to the temporary messed up selves we have here on earth.

  

HE loves us (SO) much HE gave HIS only begotten SON to die on the cross for OUR sins (so that we would hopefully, desire to believe and spend eternity with Him, our ABBA FATHER, CREATOR, and LOVER of our SOULS).

  

I researched the meaning of the word (SO) to find the significance in the scripture.  This is the definition according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

1. so (adverb):  to a great degree, very or extremely, without any doubt, most certainly, indeed, most decidedly, surely

My thoughts and many others:  (He (SO) measurelessly LOVED us!)

2. so (conjunction): for that reason : and therefore, used to say the reason for something 

The reason!  Because He LOVED us (SO) much!

3. so (adjective): agreeing with actual facts, conforming with actual facts, true 

It is what it is!  It’s factual!  Oh how He LOVES us (SO)!

There are words associated with the word (SO) that cannot even begin to touch the surface of God’s vast perfect and unconditional love for us all!

Synonyms:Accurate, dead-on, exact, good, on-target, precise, proper, right, correct, spot-on, true, veracious, legitimate, valid, errorless, faultless, flawless, impeccable, inerrant, infallible

I felt there was no scholar, no dictionary, or thesaurus  that could describe what we cannot seem to comprehend, that infallible love God has for us.

However, when I looked up the Hebrew and Greek meanings of (SO) it only confirmed what I already was beginning to unwrap in my mind, and that is that His love could only be shown sacrificially to a world dying in sin. Otherwise, we would never know the magnitude of His love for us.  How could we appreciate the love of another without the comprehension of how unlovable we are at times?  

If we were perfect and self-reliant, then we would have no need for His love.  We would feel so infallible that through loving ourselves, it would be enough.  Unfortunately, there is a generation of folk who bask in their own glow, believing they are their own God and profess they do not need the love of a Savior.  They boast of their own works, success, or money earned.  Some brag of the beauty they personally have created without realizing it was because of God they have the talent, skills, job, and money, and a seed of LOVE planted in them.  Yet, inside, they are nothing but an empty soul of soot still in need of the love of God.   These translations below clearly point out a cause and effect of the word (SO).

Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon: 
‘amen aw-mane’; sure; abstract, faithfulness; adverb, truly:--Amen, so be it, truth.

Do you see that?  Because God is faithful!  Amen!  Truth!  IT IS (SO)!

Strong’s Greek Lexicon:
Apokatallasso ap-ok-at-al-las’-so; to reconcile fully

And there it is!!!!!  The redemption!  The effect of His love! Because He loved us (SO)! He reconciled our wrongs through His only beloved son!  He didn’t leave one stone unturned, not one crevice uncovered.  The blood was shed and sacrificed to reconcile us fully because He loves us (SO)!

Galatians 2:20 - and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Ephesians 5:2 - And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. 

Psalms 107:2 - Let the redeemed of the LORD say [so], whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Let the redeemed say (SO)!  

“Yes, Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me (SO)!”

-Brenda A. Graff

February 2014

The Well

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Brenda A. Graff
Founder
FOOD FOR SOUL MAGAZINE

Loosing Faith

What does it mean to have child-like faith?  It is almost incomprehensible to have that kind of dependence.  It is difficult for some to imagine being able to rely on someone, trust, feel certain, know…that you know…that you know…that you can definitely, undoubtedly TRUST anyone these days.

The Hebrew definition of trust is:

'aman aw-man'- to build up or support; to foster as a parent or nurse; be faithful

The Greek is:

pisteuo pist-yoo'-o -to have faith (in, upon, or with respect to, a person or thing), i.e. credit; to entrust (especially one's spiritual well-being to Christ)

When we put our trust in someone, it's like throwing yourself into an imaginary safety net. Will it hold?  It’s hard in this day and age when everything around us is screaming uncertainty.  We can only be certain of a few things on this earth and that is:

Appliances break down…and usually all at once. 

Automobiles fall apart before the last payment is made. 

You will spend half your life waiting in a doctor’s office, that’s why it’s called a “Waiting Room”.  

There will always be taxes. 

I don’t mean to sound so pessimistic.  I’m only forty-eight but as I get older the more realistic I become.  I used to trust almost anyone or anything.  Of course, finding out later that it was a costly mistake.   However, what I have learned is that I can trust Jesus.    

I know that it is difficult to trust what you cannot see.  

It’s easy to become discouraged and lose faith when experiencing a great loss.  Perhaps it is the loss of a loved one, a job, or health.  It is nearly impossible to have faith like a child without the strength of God, when one is constantly in the battlefield of being an adult ALL the time.

One Saturday, while dressing to head out, I had decided to put on a pair of my favorite earrings.  These were no ordinary pair.  As a matter of fact, I was so delighted to find them in the store, I didn't hesitate to purchase them.  These were loop earrings with one of my favorite words at the base of them in large print.  It is a word that I use often in describing my passion for Christ.  I proudly wore them as a simple reminder of what we should be operating in at all times.  If I looked in the mirror, there it was...FAITH.  If in conversation with another...FAITH.  If standing in a long line at a grocery store, others would see FAITH.  It was my way of subliminally injecting FAITH without saying a single word. 

These were no doubt, though only .99 cents, jewelry I treasured.  However, that afternoon as I was leaving the library discovered that one of my earrings was missing.  In a panic, I began checking everywhere backtracking every step.

My daughter was heading towards me and I said to her, "I lost FAITH again".  She chuckled, and begin to search for the earring.  She knew how much it meant to me.  However, we were unsuccessful at finding it.  It seemed hopeless.  Where was my FAITH?

Upon waking in the mornings and sometimes with much doubt, discouraged with battling illness for several years, I would pick up these earrings and see FAITH.  It reminded me to hold fast to FAITH.  

This past year or so has been a ground shaking, earth quaking with tremors and all season for our family and many others we know.  Some have had to experience sudden back or knee surgeries that have taken longer to heal.  Others have had unexpected deaths, illness, or tragedy strike. 

In our case it was one thing after another coming in forms much like a tidal wave sweeping over us without the chance to come up for air.

At first it was a simple toothache.  Left untreated turned into a nightmare!  A prescription drug I was given to clear up infection may have caused the lining of my digestive system to tear open.  I spent several days in and out of hospital and medical test unable to hold in so much as a sip of water.  

I had to stop medication and have that bothersome tooth pulled.  What was supposed to be a simple procedure, turned into a major ordeal with oral surgery and stitches.  In the meantime, I was suffering severe stomach pain, unable to eat. 

It was frustrating going through several months of one medical test after another with no clear answers.  Entering into each test was alarming.  

Words of FAITH had been used much.  It is unsettling when something odd is happening in your body.  We tend to think the worst.  However, you must understand...I had a malignant tumor eleven years ago when my youngest son, Cody was born.  Everything seemed okay until I received the call from M.D. Anderson announcing the dreaded news.  I was terrified!  Here I was with six children, one being only six weeks old.  Was I going to be around to raise them?  Thinking back, I remember asking God to give me at least five more years with my youngest son to raise.  He has given me eleven years and nine months so far.  I don't take lightly the effects of cancer. 

The night before I was to have the oral surgery, I had gotten word that a family member and someone I had become extremely close to in ministry, was in critical condition.  

I will never forget the phone conversation or the day.  It was Sunday afternoon, May 13th.  I remember hanging up the phone and beginning to wail in disbelief, sobbing loud enough for neighbors to hear.  I had just spoken with him a few weeks before.  This was no ordinary uncle, this was my deceased mother's brother. We had a relationship that no one could understand.  

It was a spiritual kind.  Our thoughts, words spoken, and written were similar in many ways. It was as if God had given birth to twins separated by age and generation only.  The prayers to overcome, climb, take risk, and leap with FAITH beyond boundaries came during our years together in Georgia.  

We had suffered a major blow in our relationship at one point.  The very person I loved so much, was also the one who broke my heart, as I did his.  The stubbornness surmounted between us much like two battle ships colliding bows in the rough seas.  It was during that time that FAITH seemed lost. 

It was a period of time when my FAITH, his FAITH, our entire family's FAITH was being tested.  It was a crucifying of our wills.    Shortly after his passing, his daughter, my cousin, was diagnosed with Leukemia.  A young mother of two fighting for her life.  She received a bone marrow transplant, and is recovering.  Yet, still suffering the effects of chemo.

My poor aunt barely widowed had to go through the agony of watching her daughter on the brink and still has yet to have a moment to grieve.  This family has been shaken, yet not apart, it's been moved, but not displaced.  Faith has kept this family glued together.

I saw one of my dearest sisters in Christ, and friend with stage four cancer fight every single day of her life to survive.  She was unlike anyone I had ever known.  She continued to teach the youth and serve her church congregation, and family during the effects of her treatment. How?  Did she walk by FAITH?  Absolutely!  It was painfully obvious to those who knew her on the days that she was not feeling well.  Yet, she continued in her plight to keep going without complaint, never portraying self-pity or bitterness.  

FAITH...she walked in it, FAITH...she talked in it, and by FAITH she smiled through it.  She went home to be with Jesus right before Thanksgiving, and FAITH is what holds her family together now.

There have been times when I felt I had lost my FAITH.   Every time I begin to walk away from the adage that 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" Ephesians 3:20 

because I start leaning on self, God quickly reminds me that it is not in my own strength, nor will it ever be, to handle life as I know it.  

It may seem that all has failed when nothing makes sense.  Yet, it is behind the curtain that God is working a plan out unlike you or I could ever understand.  

As he says in:

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways.” This is the Lord’s declaration. 9 “For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

God is conducting the play, all he is asking us to do is to act out and walk on stage with FAITH, trembling legs and all. 

He wants us to desperately trust the hands that have created us.  If we could walk in FAITH, there would be no end to what we could accomplish in Christ. 

There would be little discussion of worry, and more action taking place. We would stand up in confidence and boldly go in the leading of the Holy Spirit.  

We would become FAITHFUL servants knowing the one that we are serving is so FAITHFUL to us. 

It may seem simpler to not trust, at least you won't be let down, Right?  However, it is easier walking by FAITH, because you’re spared all those exhausting arguments of “WHAT IF’S?”  

Loosing FAITH for that day, only cost me .99 cents.  But a lifetime would cost me eternity.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16

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Brenda A. Graff
Founder
FOOD FOR SOUL MAGAZINE

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