Is judging others making you sick?

 

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By Al Andrews

Judging Others is Making You Unhappy

Staring at the Blank Page

Staring at the Blank Page
-Brenda Graff

Here I was sitting in front of my computer unable to write a single word.  It had been nearly a month since I had written my last blog, or even worked on the magazine.  Life happened.  I got side-tracked and distracted.  It seemed every time I intended to sit down to write, something would come up, and draw me completely away from the very thing I love to do most.  Power outages, flooding, construction, phone calls, etc.  Like many folks we recently had also been hit with storm damage, requiring much to do in our home, and property.   

Our house had become equipped with a revolving door of contractors in and out from sun up to sundown, and sometimes near the midnight hour.  We had furnishings and belongings stacked from one end of the house to the next leaving only a narrow path to walk through to bathroom in which was also blocked by mattresses, and anything that wouldn’t fit upon one of the other piles of stuff. 

  

We were awaiting flooring and roofing to be replaced which delayed for approximately five days or more, and our surroundings were becoming a little claustrophobic.  The rain just wouldn’t cease, nor the leaks, putting off much needed repairs, and us getting back to our regular chaotic routine of life.  I was feeling a little miffed.  The lack of sleep, and aching bones from moving stuff had become overwhelming.  My husband had to work, so he was unable to help move items.  It was me, my 13, and 15-year-old.  I really couldn’t obtain help due to the inconsistency of scheduling and others had also suffered significant damage and were unable to assist.  I admittedly became indignant, though at the same time realizing we could have had it so much worse.  We didn’t lose lives in the flood, we didn’t lose our home.  We didn’t have to experience the terrifying moments of sinking in a vehicle or trying to grab babies to get out before drowning.  We certainly didn’t have to wait to be rescued for nearly a week with no water, electricity, or food.  I knew I really had nothing to complain about.  I was just tired…. really really tired.   

After the flooding in which 9 lives were lost, we were then hit in our little town by a tornado which caused the life of a dear elderly women.  Twelve homes damaged...and once again our roof after the floors had been replaced.  The news stayed in a constant state of ‘breaking news’.  So much tragedy continually spewing over the media.  It was disheartening.  I was seriously in danger of becoming desensitized to getting back to life as we knew it.  I hadn’t picked up my Bible in days, and honestly was having difficulty praying other then saying, "Jesus Lord come quickly"! I was done!  I didn’t know what to pray, but I was desperate for God. 

I wanted to feel something, anything but what I was feeling at that point.  “Lord, where are you?” I asked.  Despite the knowledge I have of scripture, or encouraging others through difficult times, I was unable to find strength in any of it.  I was so whooped out, couldn't encourage myself....where was my cheerleaders?  I needed to hear, "It's alright!  It's okay!  Your gonna make it any way!" But my cheerleaders were busy moving on with life, while I was stuck in enigma.  I usually write it out...journal, blog, design, use whatever the topic of life is at the moment and make a funny.  However, this time I wasn't laughing.  I couldn't concentrate on anything but the clutter and catastrophe around me.  I had writer's block! 

My soul was severely bruised.  Our family had been going through a really tough time the past year, in ways that just didn’t make sense.  When the overwhelming financial kicked us in the face with medical bills the past several months, and dealing with relational drama... I think the flooding was just the last straw for me.  But what on earth was I going to do?  Run away?  Nope, that wasn’t an option.  Scream at God?  

It wasn’t a comforting thought, though I knew He would have listened, watch me throw my fit, and still have mercy, and love me.  

I didn’t know how to react to anything except somewhat in disgust for several days, till finally my living room was flooded with tears after pure exhaustion.  In every corner of the house I was overwhelmed with where to start first in putting items up.  We are still stacked with boxes, and miscellaneous items in places that need to be cleared.    However, I cherish the ability to be able to walk and function since having a spinal injury, more than this place back in some kind of order.   

Unfortunately, I grew up in a very neat house.  You may be shaking your head asking... “Why is that bad?”  I will tell you why.  Growing up in a place that is kept up to perfection didn’t help me to grasp that things get messy.  It didn’t show me that sometimes in this life we will have to function around the messes.  I was taught to be organized, keep bed made, never allow a single pair of clothing to sit on a chair or hang on a door knob, and lord-forbid you ever leave a shoe sitting on the floor in view.  Everything was to always be put away when not in use, never leave a dish in sink, and every item in cabinets, and closets must be neatly stacked.  The walls of the home must sparkle with pristineness no finger-prints, no smudges, and certainly no scratches at any time.  

Even the garage was so clean, you could have invited the Duchess of York and dined in it.   

The carpet had to show the lines of vacuum rows all going the same direction.  I’ve found it very difficult to work in clutter of any sort.  I have an issue with walking over the pile of laundry, or finding dirty socks and shoes laying here and there.  

I most definitely lose my ability to function in my kitchen when I find dishes stacked in sink or stove not wiped off...for the umpteenth time of day. I've been known to throw away a whole sink of dishes, refusing to wash what I find left for me from the kids and hubby. I absolutely cannot stand spilled items in fridge or finding food that is furry and on its way to its funeral.  The sad thing is my family will notice it, smell it, and then stick it back in the fridge...UGH!

So you can only imagine how unsettling it was and is to live in a house that merely represents a garage sale, or dumpsite.

I have given birth to two children still living at home, that fortunately I guess didn’t inherit my OCD-ness…obviously, their father’s gene dominated as he is the grown up version of these two free-thinkers who would be happy living in a barn as long as it had a fridge, Wi-Fi, FB, PS3, and Candy Crush!  

However, despite my dilemma in dealing with dirt, and disorder…. I realize unless the cleaning fairy comes and waves her magic wand or Mr. Clean greets me with a cleaning crew…it’s going to be a while before things get straightened up.   

I knew I had to move forward in my quest to live as God expected and try to do this around the chaos. Putting my focus back on the more important things in life by returning to the only page that has been filled by His promise.  The promise that He remembers our afflictions, He writes the course that we should take in each and every situation.   

He fills our pages in life with purpose.  Page by page He brings to life the power in which He has provided for us to plow through this life in all its pain. 

 

Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind; therefore, have I hope. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore, will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

- Lamentations 3:19-25

There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to live in a clean house, or a desire to keeping it clean, but it shouldn't throw a person's perspective off so much they forget what is really important, like relationship, being alive, and having the incredible freedom to worship God, and serve in His kingdom.  It should never erase the pages of purpose that are far more greater then any present situation we may face.

I am reminded of one of my favorite writings by Erma Bombeck, words that should remind us that each day is a new chapter and we can choose what to write on the pages by changing our perspective.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it… live it… and never give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who DO love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.

And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.

Life is too short to let it pass you by.

We only have one shot at this and then it’s gone.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Moms’ Night Out Scene: God’s Love for Moms

Beautiful scene....A great reminder when we so often feel like we are
not enough....Wishing every MOM, STEP-MOM, GRAND-MOM, GOD-MOM,
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH MOM... out there a SPECIAL MOTHER'S DAY this weekend
spent celebrating. Even if you have lost a mother in which I know
personally how deeply that hurts, or division has caused distance, or
perhaps a loss of a child...or you have been unable to
conceive....celebrate the life and opportunity of experiencing a mom, a
child, and mothering the countless youth in your life...And if no one
will celebrate it with you or can't...then take yourself out or rent
this hilarious, soul touching movie and be inspired. -Brenda

Help IGNITE a PASSION for PURPOSE by purchasing our new T-Shirt - Click Here to buy now!

FORGIVE 'TIL IT HURTS - PART 5

FORGIVE ‘TIL IT HURTS – PART 5

 -Brenda Graff

RE-CAP OF PART 4

-JOSEPH TEMPTED

-STANDING FIRM

-UNJUST CONSEQUENCES

-TRAMPLING TEMPTATION

GOOD GRIEF

Grief defined by www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary

    1 obsolete:  grievance

    2 deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement, a cause of such suffering

    3 an unfortunate outcome:  disaster —  mishap, misadventure:  trouble, annoyance

I don’t believe anyone wants to experience grief.  Yet, we all at some point in our life will.  Grief isn’t only defining the loss of a loved one.  Grief is experienced in many other areas such as job loss, friendships broken, a severed marriage, material loss…i.e. losing a home.  It could be the loss of your character.  Maybe someone has cruelly spread rumors about you, and you feel you have no way to redeem yourself.    Grief can be the loss of communication in a relationship you once cherished.  It takes on many forms, sizes, and colors.  It does not discriminate on the rich or poor, nor the righteous or unrighteous.

Matthew 5:44-45

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

We have no promise that living a life dedicated to righteousness will always bring a life of rightness!  Life isn’t fair.  I don’t care what the television preachers shout.  It simply is misleading to tell someone that if they give their life in dedication to doing the right thing, that karma will gladly repay.  NOPE!  I don’t care if you wear a hundred-pound crystal on your neck and chant fifty times a day or tithe your last dime.  You’re not going to acquire good luck, total material richness, or even saneness!  It’s a hoax!  If you are sitting in a pew where a pastor is preaching a perfect life upon accepting Jesus as your Savior, you better run like Forest Gump... as far away as you can!  There is NOTHING Biblically correct about that. 

Now I admit there are a few folks in my life that seem to have the perfect, all-put-together, nothing-ever-goes-wrong, always-smiling, we-got-it-going on, don’t-you-wish-your-girlfriend-was-hot-like-me? Don’t-you-wish-you-looked-like-me? Don’t-you-wish-you-were-rich-like-me?  

I have to constantly remind myself, I only see the superficial part of that person’s life.   

It’s like Facebook.  You only get a shallow glimpse of a person’s posting.   

Most people are not going to post that their life sucks!  Of course, you do have a few that use it like a diary and will vomit every possible negative, and destructive thought for the whole world to read on social media.  I admit I have at one time or another said more then I should have.  Lord, knows I am doing my best to refrain from that negative behavior.  But, I have a tendency to always say too much.  I don’t like hiding behind veils anymore, it’s just too exhausting trying to be something I’m not.  And I have also found putting on a persona of perfection causes others around you to stumble, and utterly quit trying to improve their lives or even grow in Christ.  They may feel they can’t keep up or will never achieve the level in which they believe you are living on.  

I’ve literally had some come up to me and say, “Brenda…I wish I could be just like you…your so committed to your beliefs, and your faith is off the chart…”  My response to that is: “No you DON’T!”.  No one knows what it has cost me, the pain, the ridicule, even at times the undeserved shame, the loss of relationships, family, and friends.  It has cost me an ocean of tears, and many seasons single-handedly serving Christ abandoned by the very ones I thought would be with me.  Not to mention the incredible grief at times that only God could get me through.

 

Faith is a choice, and it is something that has to be developed.  You can’t know faith when you haven’t known doubt.  And you can’t know doubt, unless you’ve experience the unknown.  And experiencing the unknown that leads to faith, takes a knowing God who can faithfully, and lovingly lead you through those grief-stricken, ground splitting seasons. Isaiah 42:16

You don’t know what lies ahead.  Just because you are a ‘good person’, doesn’t mean that life will always be good.

Ecc 9:1 — For all this I considered in my heart even to declare all this, that the righteous, and the wise, and their works, are in the hand of God: no man knoweth either love or hatred by all that is before them.

I know we are studying on Joseph, but I have to step back in history a little and take you back to when Jacob, and Esau were hashing it out.  After all they are a very important part of the lineage.

There is a scene in which Isaac, Jacob and Esau’s father is believing he will soon pass away.  His eyesight is poor, and his health was failing.  Isaac calls on Esau, who was a great hunter to catch him his favorite feast and prepare accordingly, and then he would give him his final blessing. 

Now mother Rebekah didn’t take too kindly to this, and strategized the blessing to be handed to Jacob instead.

Genesis 27

5 Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, 6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, 7 ‘Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the Lord before I die.’ 8 Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: 9 Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. 10 Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.”

Jacob was concerned that his father would know the difference despite his failing sight, since his brother was a burly, hairy, man, and Jacob’s skin was smooth.  Let’s just say, Esau was your typical roughneck enjoying the outdoors, while Jacob clung to mamma’s apron strings in the kitchen.  However, he did as exactly mamma instructed and pulled it off.  The tragic part of this is that Esau walked in on this procession and realized the ugly truth of what had just taken place.  Genesis 27:11-29

He was devastated.  He cried.

Genesis 27:34

When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!”

Can you imagine how Esau must have felt?  Let’s say you’re in a pie baking contest to win the Blue Ribbon award, or better a chance to appear on the Food Network.  You slave for months to perfect the recipe, ensuring a win, and here comes along some chump who not only claims your prize, but didn’t do anything to earn it.  The worst part is the judges believe the chump!  Wouldn’t you just be sick?

Oh the injustice of it all!  It was heart-breaking.  Jacob had already gotten one on him before by practically forcing him to give up his birthright for a bowl of soup.

Genesis 25:29-34

Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. 30 And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom. 31 Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” 32 Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” 33 Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

Life is not fair my friend.  Not in the least.

Further down the road in Genesis 27:41 he was plotting to kill him.  Mamma Rebekah wasn’t having that.  So she sent Jacob away in which leads him to 7 and then some years of experiencing the unfairness of life as well.

Jacob was in love with the daughter of Laban, Rachel, she was considered absolutely gorgeous. He wanted her so bad he was willing to work for 7 years to earn her as his wife. 

Genesis 29:20-26

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.  21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.”  22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. 24 And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant.  25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

Imagine that!  Sounds like someone had done a little too much toasting the night before.  He was mortified!  Can you imagine the disappointment, the utter surprise and let down?   It would be like Cinderella waiting for that magic kiss from Prince Charming, with perked lips leaning in to discover an ogre, Shrek!  Yikes!  

Leah was common looking according to scripture.  She just didn’t do it for Jacob…like some men, they are visual, and often superficial not realizing what lies beneath the surface of beauty.  Nonetheless, he was stuck now!  He was furious!

26 Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 

Jacob was forced to work another 7 years to finally have Rachael.  The years of the marriage between the two women were stressful, and became a struggle of competitions between a barren womb and an abundance of children being birthed by Leah.  Rachael (Sleeping Beauty) became horribly jealous of her sister Leah. 

Genesis 30:1

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

Jacob got to see the demanding part of this women he once cherished.  It wasn’t pretty.  Her outward beauty was not so becoming anymore.  And poor Leah, and sadly, after each child she birthed, she would comment, “Now Jacob will surely love me”.  

Vs. 19-20

Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. 20 Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.

So Jacob was not treating Leah with honor?  How sad.

Can you imagine the grief of being forced to living with someone who never wanted or loved you in the first place?  She said, what many women have said in bad relationships…. “Oh, I’ll just get pregnant and he will want to stay with me.”  This old trick didn’t just come about in our 20^th Century.  It’s been around for thousands of years.  It’s called entrapment.  We are talking about a grief that would last for many years to come. Generations!  How unfair can life get?  Poor Leah, poor Rachael.  Poor Jacob!  He’s stuck, Leah’s stuck, and Rachael is not a happy camper!

Do you feel like life has been unfair to you?

Have you ever questioned God as to what he is doing?  I know I have.  Why not?  Why not be honest with God?  Do you honestly think he doesn’t already know your inward doubt, and grief over your circumstances?  He’s sees, Genesis 16:13 He hears, Psalm 34:17, 1 John 5:14, He feels,  Psalm 103:13 , Peter 5:7

What do you do when it hurts so bad?  The natural thing to do is retreat, hide, place yourself deep in a ditch where no one can find you.  Some completely avoid relationships.  “Why bother, just going to get hurt again?” “Right?”  It’s difficult to deal with grief.  But you have to. 

Grief is a natural response to a loss, and when someone unnaturally stuffs it away, avoiding to experience it, it causes a caustic mess!  That loss needs to be established, experienced, and eventually eliminated.  Not that the loss will ever be forgotten, just not allowed to lead your life.  It’s hard to suffer loss, NO…it’s excruciating!  

It’s difficult suffering loss due to our own mistakes, but is so much more challenging when we endure grief and suffer in innocence.  In other words, it’s bad enough to suffer but when we suffer when we have done nothing wrong or for being persecuted for doing the Lord’s will; that makes it harder to take. 

To God though it “is a gracious thing” for Jesus Christ being totally innocent, suffered for our sake.  He Who was sinless took our sins…He Who was faultless paid for our faults…He Who was just... suffered for the unjust.

I Peter 2:19 “For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures grief while suffering unjustly.”

It’s not fair, it wasn’t fair for Leah to suffer all those years of rejection and being forced into a loveless marriage in a constant state of insecurity wondering if she would birth enough children to grab Jacob’s attention.  It wasn’t fair that Rachael was almost completely barren and feared not being able to give her husband children... worried he would draw closer to Leah.  It wasn’t fair that Jacob worked all those years to be forced into a marriage he never wanted.  It wasn’t fair that Esau lost his blessing to Jacob.  Nor was it fair for Jacob to feel like he had to pretend to be Esau to gain a blessing.  Life’s not fair! 

Listen to what the Apostle Paul had to say about fairness.

Romans 9:18-21

Therefore, God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.  19 One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” 20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

But don’t we have the right to ask God: “Why did you make me so I would get cancer or suffer a stroke? Why wasn’t I a clay pot with a different design?” Paul refused to directly answer “Why?” He defended God’s wisdom and justice. 

Paul wrote: “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” (Romans 11:33).

 

Paul insisted that no matter what our suffering, we must accept that God is wise, merciful and just. God allows human suffering because he is God. God is so great, his thoughts so far above ours, that inferior human logic does not apply to his actions.

There isn’t always a clear why to suffering. It’s really the wrong question to ask. A specific why refers back to something that we can’t change. We must look forward by asking: What purpose is there to life, unfair as it may seem? What future does God have beyond this life of suffering?   God is not an advocate of suffering for its own sake.  In fact, He hates it!

More than 2,500 years ago, the prophet Jeremiah surveyed the carnage of the city of Jerusalem, sacked by the Babylonians. Inside the besieged city, starving mothers had eaten their deceased children. Jeremiah looked past the suffering of a sinful and dying generation to a future with hope. “Men are not cast off by the Lord forever,” he said (Lamentations 3:31). “Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men” (verses 32-33).

But it was in Jesus Christ that God showed his attitude toward human suffering. He once and for all demonstrated he does care by sending his own Son to this earth. Jesus lived, agonized and died by the rules of life, the same ones we live and suffer by. It was actually God in the flesh who came to suffer with us. It was the greatest example of God’s love possible. Jesus Christ himself said it: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).   In less than 24 hours after saying this, Jesus gave his life for all the world. He suffered and died for human beings, to take away their sins and open up deliverance for those who would believe. The sacrifice of Jesus Christ exemplified love. John expressed it movingly: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

In the crucifixion, God put to rest for all time any idea that he doesn’t care about us during our suffering. In the future resurrection of the righteous, God will give them immortal bodies and make their lives suffering-free. The tortured, the cancer victims, the unloved, the paraplegics, the lost and lonely — everyone who has suffered and is suffering — will suffer no more.  God will swallow up suffering and death in the victory of eternal life. He will be the God who cares, who is seen, who is fair. Then, God will be known to all humanity. He will act as healer and life-giver, the one who does not take pleasure in human suffering.  In that new world, described in the final chapters of the Bible’s last book, Revelation, God will dwell with his people. Revelation 21:4 tells us: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain…for the old order of things has passed away”.

The question we need to ask in our grief is this.  “How does God want to use our pain?”  Can this grief do some good for His glory, for mankind, for those that are also suffering?

Pain has a way of changing someone.  It often humbles someone who in turn has more compassion for those who have suffered the same.  It draws you to the conclusion that you are certainly not in control.  God is.  It brings out what has been hidden in the heart.  It shows your true colors.

Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.   ~ C.S. Lewis

It often grows a person of faith to greater faith from glory to glory, through each painful stepping stone up that mountain of misery.

I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain. ~ Charles Spurgeon

Grief is no good... if it is not used as a conduit of connection with this hurting world.  It is not useful, if it is left unwrapped.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Many people believe that they have nothing to offer another living soul while they are suffering themselves.  Some may feel too heavy hearted to even think about trying to comfort anyone.  Yet, it is often in the act of moving to this action that can began to heal the very pain you are experiencing.  If physical pain, it often releases the endorphin that help to minimize painful flare-ups.  If emotional pain, the act of generosity, mercy, and love can cause an overflow of passion that supersedes your immediate perspective of your pain.  And this can lead to internal healing, and sometimes believe it or not…a physical healing.  Yet, if you are someone who is experiencing an overload of sorrow, and have become hopeless, or can’t get out of your pit of pain, get in contact with a Christian counselor, minister, and sort through the grief.  Deal with it, so you can heal, and use that grief for the good.

 

Your pain often reveals God’s purpose for you. God never wastes a hurt! If you’ve gone through a hurt, he wants you to help other people going through that same hurt. He wants you to share it. God can use the problems in your life to give you a ministry to others. In fact, the very thing you’re most ashamed of in your life and resent the most could become your greatest ministry in helping other people.  Who can better help somebody going through a bankruptcy than somebody who went through a bankruptcy? Who can better help somebody struggling with an addiction than somebody who’s struggled with an addiction?  Who can better help a parent of a special needs child than parents who raised a special needs child? Who can better help somebody who’s lost a child than somebody who lost a child? The very thing you hate the most in your life is what God wants to use for good in your life. -Daily Hope with Rick Warren

So now what to do?  Get up, grab your grief, and go forward!  ESTABLISH it (own it), EXPERIENCE it (deal with it, i.e. counseling, cry, break a dish, whatever it takes-GET IT OUT!), and ELIMINATE it (don’t allow it to rule your thoughts-causing deep depression, inactivity, and chronic sorrow).  Go through the steps necessary to work through it with the help of someone who can encourage you, help and develop you through God's grace. 

Good grief - Life is unfair! But grief can bring good when used for God’s glory.

-To be continued